Yesterday

Yesterday was a good day.  I woke up in the morning with nothing to do.  Somehow God reminded me to give my day to him so I prayed that it would be for his glory.

Nothing out of the ordinary happened.  I asked Hayden if he wanted to go to chick-fil-a.  He declined and said he wanted to go to Panera for a pumpkin muffie.  A much better choice for me.  So I texted Britt and she met us there.  Henley slept the whole time which made for a nice lunch!

We came home to take naps.  Hayden woke up and asked to go swimming at the Y.  That was the LAST thing i wanted to do on a rainy afternoon and being postpartum and to put on a bathing suit and taking a 7 week old…yuck!  But I couldn’t say no when he asked so politely.  He got himself ready…amazing how much faster they get ready when they want to be somewhere.  We went swimming and I held Henley on my hip. We were the only ones there so that was nice.  I even wore a red bathing suit so maybe I blended in with the life guards.    It was actually really fun.

After swimming we came home, Henley went to bed, I popped some popcorn, and Hayden and I sat down to watch Biggest Loser in fast forward mode.  Then we went to bed.

But here is the part I want remember…thus I am writing it down now.

On the way to Panera,  Hayden started singing a song.  He was making it up as he went.  When I asked him about his song he said it was about the children who don’t have mommies and daddies.  He proceeded to tell me that his daddy was going to go get them and bring them home.  Then he said, “Daddy is the best.”  My heart melted.

Lately, we have been talking a lot about orphans with Hayden.  One reason being that our church is starting to build a community for orphans in Haiti.  The other being that we are adopting our next child, hopefully starting in the spring when Henley is six months.

After Hayden’s comments about Jason he started asking me more questions.  One led to another and then he asked me “Where is Jesus?”.  I told him that Jesus is in heaven preparing a place for all his children.  I wasn’t realizing what I was saying until it came out.  I told him that one day Jesus will come back to get us and to take us home.  And as I was speaking my heart became overwhelmed.  I have been rescued and will be rescued forever too.  This is the heart of adoption and taking care of orphans.  It is not just a parallel between the two.  It is not a social movement.  It is the truth, it is who Jesus is, and it is compelling beyond all else.

It was a conversation that I want to remember forever.

Life with Henley

Sweet little Henley, and I mean SWEET, was born August 25, 2009!  7lbs. 14 oz. 18 1/2 inches long.  (although he was 19 3/4 inches at one week so were not sure).  I had a c-section because I had one with Hayden.  It was sooo much better the second time.  I remember everything.  I got to hold and nurse him right away.  And I remember all my visitors and nurses this time around.  I loved my doctors and surgeons!  It was kind of strange to be joking with them while they were doing the surgery.  I’m glad they had a sense of humor.

My hospital stay went well.  I particularly loved my night nurse.  I would always tell her that I liked her so much and wished she also worked the day shift.  I am sure she thought I was a little loopy.  But I would still say that to her today.  She was just so sweet.  I loved wearing the REALLY tight hose while I was at the hospital.  Anything to keep my feet from swelling!

Henley Jude.   We found the name Henley in a baby name book and really liked it.  We hesitated though because we also like Hadley if we ever have a girl.  They both end in “ley” so we thought that would be bad.  However, we decided not to worry about that and went with Henley.  Jude was initially a joke…kind of.  It was our very first name idea because we conceived the weekend we ran in the St. Jude Marathon.  I could have spared you that detail but you could have figured it out.  Anyways, it is also one of Jason’s favorite books in the Bible.   and also, means “praise” or “thanks.”  I could cry just thinking about that. We are so thankful for him.

Many have said that Henley looks just like Jason.  Those were the first words that came out of my mouth when I saw him.  He is a little Jason!  So far he has been a laid back baby.  I learned with Hayden that so much is out of my control and that you just have to go with the flow.  I have been reading up and refreshing my memory on new born stuff but keeping a flexible spirit.  I am thankful for the nights I get sleep but when I don’t get much sleep I just remember that my three year old is sleeping soundly in the other room and the time went by way toooo fast.  Henley is a pretty good sleeper i think.  He usually gives me one four hour stretch a night and then eats about every 3 hours other than that.  This morning I actually stuck the bassinet(with him in it) in my bathroom hoping he would sleep in.  And it worked!  We all woke up at 8:15.  Thus, I am blogging and not napping right now.

Hayden is wonderful big brother!!!  I had no idea what to expect from Hayden.  But he has been the best!!!  He being three is probably a huge factor.  He tells me all the time that he “likes baby Henley.”  I could just sit and stare at both of my boys all day and be amazed.  Hayden has had a lot of fun on the Wii lately.  We play a lot of sword fighting, canoeing, flying, and basketball.  And a lot of mario cart.   It has been fun to watch him become more independent.  Wow, they grow up way too fast!

Our Family of Four!  I am starting to really feel back to normal but remembering the doctor’s orders!

I Still Have Christmas Pictures Up…haha!!

wow!  that is just too funny that my blog header is still with my Christmas pictures!  i need a blog makeover bad!!!

We are just two weeks away from meeting our new little son!!!  I would tell you his name if we were for sure.  We are playing around with about four names so it may just be that we will name him when we see him.  We’ll see!!!  Right now i am scheduled to have my c-section on August 25th.  My due date is the 28th so we are hoping to make it as close as possible!  My OB heads out of town this Friday and gets back on the 23rd.  I hope she can do my surgery again but if not then we have another doctor on call who is excellent.  Her name is Dr. Norman and she actually saw me in the hospital after I had Hayden because my doctor left town right after we had him.  Anyways, I am feeling great, sleeping great, and having a great time with Jason and Hayden!

I really can’t describe all that this last year has been for me…hence the lack of blogging .  The last weekend of August, last year,  was when I had my miscarriage.  So many of you have carried us through the heartache…though it has been quiet at times.  And getting pregnant so quickly after wards was quite a surprise.  I dealt with a lot of fear and pretty much stayed quiet for a couple months.  Being that those months were January and February made it even harder.  God was so close to me and I drew so close to Him.  He brought people into my life that have walked beside me so faithfully.   I am thankful to have older women to counsel me and just to pray for me.  It is hard to believe a year has gone by.  My due date now is August 28th and is exactly one year from when I had my miscarriage.  And if i make it to the 25th we will be bringing our sweet baby home the same weekend one year later.  i can say nothing different than what I wrote one year ago…blessed be the name of the Lord.

Our house is coming along great!  We have been working hard to get it ready because we know that not much will happen after we have a newborn.  We finished our last major painting project and painted our bedroom and bathroom last weekend.  Hopefully, i can take some pictures soon!  We love our neighborhood and our neighbors! Especially, sweet Mary Elizabeth.  She is 80 and a widow and I love talking to her.  Our walnuts are starting to fall from the trees and it makes me sooooooo excited about Fall!!

Hayden is turning 3 on Saturday!!!!  We are going to have a Wipeout party!!!  He LOVES the show!  Anybody have any ideas on how to incorporate the red balls???  By the way, Wednesday is ALL NEW Wipeout!

Hayden is amazing and acts more like Jason every day!!!  He is a true joy to be around and loves to laugh and make others laugh.  He is halfway potty trained.  He is NOT interested on doing number 2 in the potty.  He does great with number 1 even with his pull-ups on.  I still keep him in pull ups because it makes me sick to think about getting poopy underwear off. Plus I want to wait until we have this baby and he gets used to him being here.  Hayden is SOOOO excited about having a brother.  I anticipate that lasting about two weeks.  Then I wouldn’t be surprised if he asked me when we would be taking him back !  No just kidding! well..sort of.  But I truly think he will be a great helper.  Yesterday he went in his room and pooped and came back with a pull up, his wipes, and some vaseline and said he was ready to be changed!  Sweet boy!

okay i’ll end on that note bc he is waking from his nap…no time to proof!

A Sweet Word From God Last Night

Last night I was really having trouble falling asleep.  It had been a good day but also one that made me feel like a crappy mother.  The first incident was at the YMCA pool.  Hayden and I were swimming in the indoor pool with some friends…which by the way had way too much bleach in water.  Anyways, Hayden was throwing around a toy and swimming to get it.  He threw it in the deep end.  I was watching him go swim and get it…he had his life jacket on.  I was actually proud of him for swimming so fast and I inched closer to him as he got farther away from me.  A mom friend calls out to me to make sure I see him and I give her the nod.  But then the life guard whistles me down and tells me I need to stay with in arms reach.  Bummer.  I just got whistled at.

Then right before bed we were having a snack.  Hayden was eating mini Lorna Doone cookies.  He was being goofy and threw one in his mouth and at the same time tilted his head back.  It lodge in his throat pretty hard and I picked him up and started beating his back.  After what seemed like forever he managed to stick his finger down his own throat as I was beating his back and all but his breakfast came up.  I showed him the cookie and was so proud of how he made himself get it out.  He was pretty upset and scared.  But after a little bit of rocking and his passy he felt better.

Needless to say I snuggled up with him in his bed until he fell asleep.  I got up and tried to go to bed, couldn’t sleep, tried to forget the events, and couldn’t.  So around 12:30am(three hours later) I knew I needed to just go spend some time with the Lord.  I was feeling guilty about the pool and feeling out of control about the choking.  And my pregnancy hormones were making me even more emotionally drastic  and making me think how in the world was I going to keep this kid alive for the next fifteen years much less any more brothers and sisters.

After some prayer time, I got up and opened my Bible(YouVersion).  I really wanted to read some Psalms.  And my page automatically open up to Psalm 5.  I scrolled up to Psalm 4 and it was clear as day.  This is the last verse of Psalm 4…

I will lie down and sleep in peace,
for you alone, O Lord,
make me dwell in safety.
I shut my computer in awe.  Those were the sweetest words.  Acknowledging that all was in His hands I went to bed and fell asleep.  I think that verse will find its way into Hayden’s room real soon.

I Really Need to Blog More Often

Every time I think about sitting down to blog I get a little overwhelmed because I have so much I would LOVE to share and then I just decide to do it later.  And the cycle begins and I never actually sit down to blog.  This summer makes three years of blogging for me.  I started right before Hayden was born to share pictures with my family who live out of state.  Well, then I started writing more and made my own blog that I could just write whatever I wanted to and kept the other one for the pictures.  But now with Facebook I find it much easier to put up tons of pictures so there is really no need for the picture blog…that is if YOU are on Facebook…ummm cough…Heather!!!

So anyways here’s some seriousness…

At the beginning of the year I wrote about how my “one word” to focus on this year is “Closer.”  Pretty much I decided that I never wanted to say “i wish i was as close as I once was to the Lord and to the people that are most important in my life.”  From now on I want to be closer every day and to be making the steps to make it happen.  But I am learning it is a closeness that I cannot attain on my own but only with the grace that is given to me.  Where sin abounds grace abounds even more.  And as I find myself drawing closer to the Lord and to those I love, I am finding a grace that is more than I can understand and a love that moves me to go more.  A few verses that go along with this…

Isaiah 58…well the whole chapter…you will just have to read it for yourself.  But mainly, the people are drawing near to the Lord in their own self-righteousness.  And they were delighting in it!  My prayer is that I will draw closer to the Heart of God.  That I will “pour myself out” (verse 10) as He has done for me.

Psalm 73…whole thing…Unbelieveable!!!  last verse…”But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works.”  It is good to be near God.  It is good to be near God.  It is good to be near God.  Can I say that enough? Ever asked yourself “What is good?”…to be near God.  Just take one taste of the goodness…it will make you want more.

and James 4:8…i love how the New Living Translation says it…”Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world.”  It sounds kind of conditional at first.  That we are making the first move.  Let us not be so proud.  He is the Inviter.  He is the Host.

So I will end with this.  I am not sure what I was thinking when I said that I wanted to be “closer” to the Lord.  It seems to be a very holy place to be.  A place that I am unworthy to be.  And as for drawing closer to others… Do I really want all my weaknesses and sins to be known?  Is it true that when we disclose the dirt in our hearts that we find more grace and that we become closer.  Yes, it is true, with those who have invited us in.  And it is so so good.

Sewing Project #2

I FINALLY finished the dining room curtains!  YAY!!!  I was hoping to make them a little more fancy with adding some pinched pleats at the top but the fabric with the backing ended up being a little too thick for my sewing machine.  And no way was I going to do them by hand.  So it made the job a lot easier…just some simple panels.  I am REALLY enjoying sewing!

And I have also been having a lot of fun with this little guy!!!  We’ve been enjoying some hot chocolate and some pool time together lately…depending on the weather!

Grief Share – Day One

Today we had our first meeting with my small group in Grief Share.  We are going through this book together – Grieving the Child I Never Knew by Kathe Wunnenburg.  I have only just begun but I would highly recommend it to anyone who is grieving in this way.  We had a very special time together today.  I am so grateful for the ladies in my group.  You may be wondering about how I have been doing because it is not something that you just ask someone.  And being pregnant it may seem that I have moved on.  Well, it has been a journey for sure and I hope to share more as I go.  It has been hard to share about much of anything because this grief in my own heart has been so so subtle and yet so consuming.  So sometimes I don’t even know how I am really doing.  I am seeing ways that it has crept into so much of my heart and mind.  Causing my heart to fear and keeping my hope and joy surpressed.  I can already testify today though of the healing and restoration that is happening already.  I am so thankful and grateful.  Thanks for being patient too since I have been so out of the blogging world.  I am praying I will be all the more hopeful and joyful in Christ.  I will always remember His mercy and goodness.  And I am reminded that when I am weak, He is strong.   Thanks for your sweet love and prayers over the past months.

Sweet, Sticky, and Spicy Chicken

This was so YUMMY! I made this for dinner tonight with rice and a side salad.  I got the recipe from AllRecipes but adapted it a bit.  I’ll make a note of what I did differently.  It may be a little spicy for a toddler.  Hayden did not try it but I think it would have been too spicy for him anyways.  He loves lettuce though.  He filled up on that and biscuits.

Sweet, Sticky, and Spicy Chicken

• 1 tablespoon brown sugar
• 2 tablespoons honey
• 1/4 cup soy sauce
• 2 teaspoons chopped fresh ginger root ( I used 1 tsp. of ground ginger)
• 2 teaspoons chopped garlic ( I used 1 tsp. of minced garlic instead)
• 2 tablespoons hot sauce ( I only used one Tbsp and i thought it was spicy enough)
• salt and pepper to taste
• 4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves – cut into 1/2 inch strips
• 1 tablespoon vegetable oil (i used olive oil)

1. Mix together brown sugar, honey, soy sauce, ginger, garlic and hot sauce in a small bowl.
2. Lightly salt and pepper the chicken strips.
3. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add chicken strips and brown on both sides, about 1 minute per side. Pour the sauce over the chicken. Simmer uncovered until the sauce thickens, 8 to 10 minutes.

A few other things I did…

Before I browned the chicken I used the pan to saute some onion and green pepper.  I took it out and set it aside.  I only used two chicken breasts and cut it into smaller cubes.  I coated it with flour mixed with some salt and pepper before I browned it in the skillet. And I had my skillet on medium high heat since it is calphanon (sp?) and then turned it down to medium when I added the sauce.

For the side salad I used Red Leaf lettuce.  My favorite dressing is made from brown sugar, vegetable oil, and rice vinegar…made of equal parts. About 1 Tbsp of each is enough to coat salads for Jason, Hayden and myself.

The little man in my belly is kickin’ now for sure!  I hope you enjoy it!!!